I was stunned. Was this a joke? Sarcasm? I stared at the message for a full minute before forwarding it to Mia with nothing but “?????”
She called me, laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Then, she did what only a true friend would do—she showed the invoice to her boyfriend, Chris, who sent Eric a counter-invoice, billing him for “wasting a perfectly good evening” of my time. The total? $1,000. Payable in cash or public apology.
Naturally, Eric didn’t take that well. He sent me a series of angry texts calling me “ungrateful” and “manipulative.” That’s when I blocked him.
I’m still not sure what the most absurd part was—his belief that basic kindness needed repayment, the creepy tone of the “collections” warning, or the fact that he genuinely expected a selfie as currency.
As for the little keychain he gifted me that night? I kept it. Not as a memento of romance, but as a hilarious souvenir from the weirdest date of my life.
It’s a reminder that red flags aren’t always visible at dinner—but sometimes, they send you invoices in the morning.
